100 things no one really wants to know, but I'm telling anyway

1. I have three sisters and no brothers.
2. My parents were divorced when we were really young, so it was a house o' women.
3. Four girls produced five boys. I have a son and all nephews.
4. My son was very unplanned. A HUGE shock.
5. I am a yellow dog Democrat, and won't vote for a Republican no matter what
6. I'm divorced from my son's father.
7. I was only single for 9 months before I remarried.
8. I didn't know my husband when my divorce was final.
9. We only dated 2 months before we were engaged, and spent our engagement in different states.
10. We didn't live in the same state the first month of our marriage.
11. My husband is 10 years younger than I am.
12. Luckily, my husband is also a "cradle" Catholic.
13. I went to college in order to be a PE teacher.
14. I decided I'd rather eat dirt than be a PE teacher.
15. I lived in a trailer when I was in college.
16. I didn't have a job until I was 21.
17. I worked as a bartender and actually did that on and off for many years.
18. I was a long distance operator for the phone company. I got fired for making personal phone calls instead of taking customer calls.
19. Two of my sisters have the same birthday, two years apart. They had to share birthday parties. Bummer
20. I've lived in four different states.
21. I don't really care where I live as long as there is a movie theater, library/bookstore, and decent grocery store.
22. I hate Wal Mart and love Target.
23. There is no Target within an hour of me. Wal Mart is down the street. Go figure.
24. I did teach in the PE department at a community college, but it was dance and aerobics and not PE.
25. I used to have a killer body, now it would kill somebody if I fell on them.
26. My husband still thinks I'm sexy after 30 pounds and 16 years.
27. I'm a total klutz and fall on a regular basis.
28. I seriously suck at almost all sports, but am a pretty decent water skiier/kneeboarder and snow skiier. Go figure.
29. My husband is a really, really great snow skiier, and can't get up on a water ski.
30. I love David Sedaris. He is the funniest essayest/short story writer EVER! I got to see him at Butler University a few months ago, and almost peed in my pants from laughing.
31. I'm terrified of most bugs, all snakes, mice and rats.
32. My nephew is gay.
33. My son is considering a religious vocation. Maybe a monestary.
34. Above son is majoring in culinary arts.
35. His goal in life is to be a published writer. He's written one full novel and working on another.
36. He had an agent try to sell his book, but no one wanted to publish it.
37. I love almost all of the HBO series (Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Deadwood, Sex & the City)
38. Until last year, I was a smoker.
39. I was a closet smoker, no one but my son and husband and immediate family knew.
40. I like to gamble, but I don't do it very often because I like it.
41. I was seriously in debt at one point in my life.
42. I paid every penny of it to everyone I owed money to. It took 5 years.
43. I have six cats and two dogs.
44. One of my dogs is very, very old, and I'm nervous every morning when I go to let her outside.
45. My mother shows dogs, and has spent about $300,000 on dogs and dog show expenses in the last ten years. She's in total denial about it.
46. I've only seen my father eight times in the past 43 years.
47. I'm tall.
48. I've worn bifocals since I was 32 years old.
49. Last year, I lost the ability to see with contacts and have to wear glasses all of the time.
50. My husband is adopted, and he knows nothing about his birthparents.
51. I've never been to Disneyworld. Disneyland yes, but Disneyworld, no.
52. My favorite vacation was skiing with our best friends in Colorado.
53. My 2nd favorite vacation was my honeymoon with husband #1 in the Bahamas.
54. My 3rd favorite vacation was a cruise with husband #2.
55. I spent a whole week in New Orleans one year to get the full Marti Gras experience.
56. I got drunk and totaled my friends car while doing the Marti Gras thing.
57. I measured .24 on the breath test, and didn't get a ticket.
58. I am a shitty driver. One year I had 3 wrecks and 10 tickets.
59. I'm not that shitty a driver anymore.
60. I cuss like a sailor. So does my husband. So does my kid.
61. My mother was pregnant with my older sister and had to get married. She's never admitted it.
62. I once sold tape for a living.
63. I was stunned at how much tape there is, and how competative the tape business is.
64. One of my cats is weird, and when I pet him, he likes to nurse his own forearms.
65. The same above cat likes to put a foam ball in his mouth and suck on it while he humps our couch pillows. Stupid cat has been fixed since he was 16 weeks old!!!
66. The above cat is my favorite pet.
67. I'm a child advocate, but I am not that comfortable with kids unless I know them really well.
68. Even though I'm not comfortable, I just can't stand people being mean to kids.
69. I'm even worse about people being mean to animals. People who leave their pets outside all the time make me sick. I mean WAY pissed off. Why bother if you don't want to love and play with them? What's the point?
70. I could eat Mexican food every day.
71. I'm a good cook. Not fancy, but my food tastes good and everyone likes it when I cook.
72. Sometimes, I go through spells, and we eat out every single meal. I won't go to the grocery store for a month except for diet coke and toilet paper.
73. I have to go to court probably every two months and assist in the process of terminating someones parental rights. It makes me want to cry. I think these people will wake up in 10 years and wonder how this could have happened and it will be too late and they'll never have another peaceful moment.
74. My ex husband sued for custody of my son. I've never felt so helpless and anguished in my life. He didn't get one single fucking day of custody and is a shit pile.
75. I don't like paper towels with designs on them. White only. My husband thinks this is retarded.
76. He'll only use Charmin toilet paper, and Puff tissues, and Q tip brand swabs and he thinks I'm retarded.
77. I had my ovaries removed and I take HRT. I quit smoking when my doctor threatened to not renew my hormone prescription.
78. I've never had PMS. I never felt any different before, during, or after my period.
79. I didn't have an ultrasound when I was pregnant. I didn't have insurance and wouldn't let them do it.
80. I didn't have an epidural, or even a Tylenol. See no insurance thing. Not bad though, I was only in labor for 4 hours.
81. I only decided on nursing school because I was sick of selling tape and needed to think of something else to do.
82. I'm really into nursing school now and am excited about being a nurse. I think I'll love it.
83. My husband works in a maximum security Federal Prison.
84. I live on the prison property in staff housing and inmates mow my lawn and pick up my trash. We are all pleasant, but don't say more than necessary.
85. My husbands' and my best friend are married to each other. Handy!!!
86. I'm a godmother to two different kids.
87. Outside of being the bride, I've only been in three weddings and one of them was serving cake. That hardly counts.
88. None of my sisters, nor I, had big weddings. They were all small, or running off to a courthouse.
89. My in-laws detested me for a long, long time. They've only started being nice in the last few years. I was probably married for 10 years before they finally accepted that I wasn't going away.
90. I like not living near his or my parents. I'd like to be closer than now, but not in the same state.
91. I never had a new car until I was almost 40 years old.
92. My husband likes short hair better than long hair. I go back and forth on this.
93. My hair color changes a lot. Right now it's dark.
94. One of my sisters' hair is so long, it falls in the toilet when she pees. I think that's gross.
95. One of my sisters' hair looks like something out of an 80's metal band. Big and frizzy and lots of product.
96. Ryan Adams is my favorite music artist.
97. I love People magazine and have a subscription. I'm obsessed with celebrity gossip. So is my best friend. We have to discuss all the news in detail.
98. My second favorite magazine is Vanity Fair. Love it too.
99. I've been called a bitch so many times, it doesn't even bother me anymore.
100. I'm happy with my life.