I've got to get a grip

I know I've mentioned my volunteer work. I'm a child advocate through the CASA program. We are court appointed advocates representing the children who have been removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect. National laws now dictate that all children have an advocate. The problem is, there aren't nearly enough volunteer to do the job. Larger cities have board, and donations, and fund raisers, and full time volunteer recruiters. Here in small area USA, nada. We've begun in earnest trying to get volunteers by using the media to get word out of the need. Today, one of the local networks asked if I'd agree to an interview. I told them sure and asked when. They said in about 30 minutes and I about shit. It's 11:00 in the morning, and I have on the same dirty shorts from the day before and the t shirt I slept in, no makeup (like I ever put it on anymore), and obviously no shower and a filthy floor. My husband had to vacuum really quickly and I had to slap on some jeans and mascara and let it go like that. I am so gross and lazy. I've never in my life had to worry when someone came over. I've always made it a point to have at least a clean living room and guest bathroom. My kitchen is always clean, but now the rest is dirty. It's usually picked up, but I'll bet my husband had to empty the vacuum 2x. No one with as many animals living in their house as I do can go as long as I did without vacuuming. I've got to get a grip.

Our movie madness

My poor husband. He, being a guy, has been hopping from one foot to the other waiting for Superman to open. Today is the day. When he came in this morning and said, "Woohoo, it's Superman day!", I reminded him that he'd promised me we could see The Break Up and until I saw that, no Superman. He poked his lip out, but we checked the times and saw we could see The Break Up at 1:40 and go next store and see Superman at 4:10. All was going well, and we sat through commercials (don't even get me started on how pissed I get about paying $8.00 to see a movie, and then have to sit through commercials), previews, and just when the movie was starting, the power went out and the smoke alarm started going. We were told to leave and after an hour of sitting out in a hot parking lot, we came home. You just have to laugh. Really, you do even though my husband is bitter as hell. He can calm down, we're going back tonight, but it was still funny.

SNAFU

I got a copy of my detailed schedule for next semester, and I have no classes on Monday, on campus for 4 hours on Tuesday, Wednesday shows me for two 8 hour clinicals at the same time, no classes on Thursday, and a two hour pharmacology on Friday. What's wrong with this picture? Everyone else I know has something scheduled 5 days a week, and either M-W clinicals, or T-TR. I left a message with the department clerk that a mistake has been made, and would she fix it. I wonder how long this is going to take? I really need to take Spanish, but my heart just isn't in it. I could still get Spanish 1 over by the fall semster, but my will is gone. I know I can't graduate without a foreign language, and it's the only non nursing class I have left to take, but I just can't. I really can't. I'm going to do it online. I don't graduate until December of next year, so I have tons of time, and maybe when I'm back in the school mode, I'll be more motivated. Seriously. I'm also pissed that I haven't heard back about any of the scholarships I've applied for, and the financial aid office keeps saying they are going to convert to online apps instead of paper, and to keep checking back. It looks like I'm going to be in deeper debt with student loans again. I'm going into a field with critical shortages, and have a 3.9 GPA, and I still don't have any scholarships or grants. How retarded is that? Since I live in a small town, even though it has a large university, the hospitals here don't offer any scholarships for students who agree to work there for a time after graduation like all of the larger cities have. The Indiana Nursing Scholarship says you have to show financial need, and I'll never qualify. Anybody have any suggestions? Every low income person in school is getting everything paid, plus buying a car with the left over money, and I can't find anyone to help me pay for a damn book!

We're home

Well, a week and a half early, we're home. Hub still has a drain sticking out of his side, and gross crap coming out of it, but he's stable. He really wanted to get out of the hospital and come home, and since the surgeon treating him in Little Rock was going out of town, he made arrangements for the surgeon here to continue to treat him. We left the hopital on Wednesday night and stayed at the same hotel as his parents, so he got to visit with them. We left yesterday morning and got here about 7:30 last night. It was a long drive, and we were both exhausted. He saw the surgeon this morning, and he's doing well. He should get the drain out next week. He's just basically on drugs and laying around. Good times.

Why Me?

I'm sitting in my nephews' apartment in Arkansas. This is how far we made it before my husband was hospitalized for an abcess in the muscle of his abdomen where he has an incision scar from the surgery. Before I go into the whole sad story, my nephew said I have to first share how cute his apartment is. Ok, that's done. The hub feels like crap. He hasn't had a temp lower than 101 for days. Today, he was taken in and a drain was put into one of the abcesses and the grossest crap is coming out of him. Really nasty. Tomorrow they lavage the area. The nurse said it was really unpleasant. Then within a couple of days, they should have a culture they can gram stain and find out a good anitbiotic. My hope is that he'll be out by Friday and hopefully we can go home on Monday. The vacation is over, and all I got to do is lose $400 at the casino in Tunica. We did eat at my favorite BBQ place in Memphis, and tour a couple of museums. We saw Graceland on a previous trip, and since we aren't Elvis fans, that was enough of that. The rest will have to go. I'm ready to go home. I'm exhausted, and he is just laying there on good drugs. Obviously I'm being smart. He feels crappy, and I don't think good drugs would be enough to trade places. The other down side is that my in-laws are coming, but what are you going to do. The worst part is, my FIL is my dentist, and now I won't get my free teeth cleaning. Oh well. I'm sleepy.

I'm on VACATION!!!!

I'm officially on vacation. I mean, I wasn't doing anything anyway but sitting on my butt, but now I can officially lay around and it doesn't mean I'm lazy...it means I'm on VACATION!!! We are leaving in two hours and going to Tunica, Mississippi to gamble and hang in Memphis (one of my favorite cities). We've been to Graceland before, and it was fun, but we aren't Elvis fans so it's only something we did to say we've done it. My husband has never eaten ribs at the Rendevous or been to Beal Street so I'm excited to get to do that with him. Then to Arkansas to my family's lake house for a few days. Then to Oklahoma to visit in-laws and have dental work done (my FIL is our dentist and it's free). We'll get to hang with the neices too. Then to Texas to see our best friends and their kids. The girls are going to stay with us at the hotel, and we're going to water parks, Six Flags, and at least one baseball game before the Rangers start sucking like they always do. Then we'll turn around and back to OK for my husband to get a crown on his tooth, back to the lake for a day or two, and then home. No more casinos though. My son has moved in for the next 2.5 weeks to take care of the zoo for us, so we're free. I'll update when we're stopped to let you know how much fun we're having. I hope I'm not so excited that I have a let down. Nope...not going to happen.

What are the odds?

Off the subject for a second. Okay, like the traumas I've suffered this week aren't enough, we went for a walk with the dogs and my husband and our ancient old wobbly dog and they walked right up to ANOTHER dead snake. A HUGE dead snake. What is it with this place? I'm trying to get ahead on my child advocate cases (anyone who is looking for a very, very worthwhile volunteer opportunity should see www.nationalcasa.org). I have done nothing for two days but go from bio parent to foster parent, to CPS offices, to treatment offices, and talking to social workers, and employment agencies trying to get services for these sad families. Out of the four families I'm working with now, I have 3 single mothers, two of whom are addicted to meth, one has a "device" or computer chip planted in her head and the voices are telling her what to do (not real hopeful about this one), and one couple consisting of a middle aged man with NO parental skills, and his early 20's grossly intellectually delayed (function about 8 yo) girlfriend. Can't really say much due to confidentiality issues, but I'm exhausted from trying to beg caseworkers for special services when they are so overworked, they can barely come up for air much less deal with going outside the norm. When you see a case to the end and a mother and children are reunited, or you've gotten to know a wonderful foster family who are desperate to parent these children and it becomes possible, it's the best feeling in the world. The funny thing is that I've never been that crazy about kids other than my own and two of my nephews, and the kids of our best friends. I really care about my other nieces and nephews, but am ok with only seeing them whenever. I've had no desire for more children, but I believe kids deserve to be kids. No kid should have to worry about eating, or whether mom is going to get up this morning to get them to school, or getting home fast, or skipping so you can take care of your sibs because mom got high again, and dad is in jail. Kids hardest decision should be what to get for their birthday, and it kills me that because some parents can't put their kids needs before their own, these kids have to live like they do. Someone has to be a voice for them, so that is why I do it. I'm really not very noble at all.

Can we talk about uniforms?

Ok, just out of curiousity, what do others wear in their nursing programs? I thought everyone would like to know what the latest fashion coming out of small city Indiana is. Ok, get this picture in your head. Think those 50-60's doctor tunics you see in old pictures. You know the ones...fitted with the band in the back. That's what we wear, only hunter green. Then, a white lab coat that appears to match the 1962 tunic with the hunter green piping. The only thing good is that they are long enough to cover the white coated butt of the pants which of course are really awful. The only thing missing is the white cap of days gone by. The whole outfit is of course, a lovely polyester blend which feels really good next to your skin. Then the white socks or panty hose (?). I haven't worn panty hose in 10 years. Of course, we have to wear 100% white shoes, and if I see one more pair of those plastic Crocs, I'll throw up. I thought I was really smart to get into a proffesion that lets you wear comfortable clothing, and after years of working as a sales rep and having to look perfect and well dressed every day, I am all about the uniform. I just didn't realize that for a couple of years, the uniform would be so ugly.

comfort food

I love Paula Dean from the Food Network. I'd never eat that Granny Clampet possum-backfat food she cooks because your life span would only be about twelve on that diet, but she is so comfortable to me. I was born in Texas, and raised in Arkansas, and her voice just soothes me. I sound just like her, only a tiny bit less drawl and a little more hick. Around here, it's everyone telling me, "You're not from here are you?,", but at home, I just fit right in. Anyway, that's off the subject. He're my excitement for the day. First, I took the dogs out this morning as usual. Coming back in the house, I saw something at the end of the drive and, being blind, went up to see what it was. It was a HUGE dead snake. Did I say it was huge? I'm terrified. Dead, alive, doesn't matter. I ran in the house and told my husband who said he'd handle. I don't know who he's kidding since he's as afraid as I am. He walked about halfway there, turned, came in the house, and told me to forget it. He offered to get in his truck and run over it again and again until it was pancaked, but then we'd just have a smashed mess that I know would still be a snake. To digress, one of the benefits we were offered to move here was a staff house. They have seven lovely, old, large homes for executive staff. It's very inexpensive to live in them, and are a nice perk. The problem is that the houses are right on a large river. A few months ago, my husband went into the basement to do laundry, and yelled, "Hell NO!!" He kept saying it over and over and when I went to find out what was up, he pointed to a snake in the basement. Because it was the weekend, there was no one in maintenance to come get it. I called a wildlife rescue person and paid him $50.00 to go downstairs and pick it up, take it far away, and then let it go. Even though my husband is home on sick time, and it was embarrassing to him, today I called the maintenance department and said, "This is Mrs. ***** in staff house whatever. You may not be the right person, but you don't have a road kill department, and there is a dead snake at the end of my drive, and I'm scared of it, so someone has to come over and get it and take it away." Bless his heart, he didn't even laugh very much and someone came in five minutes and it's gone. Woohoo!! Now, my second situation today is hair color. I have my hair colored and hi-lighted and would never dream of doing it myself, but I need color and don't need my hair cut. My husband said he's sick of the hi-lights and could I just have regular dark hair. Here's where things went wrong. I thought to myself, "Why should I pay someone to do this when all I want is one color and my sisters do their own with no problem." OMG, this is the messiest thing I've ever seen. Yes, my hair is colored and looks fine, but my bathroom will probably have to be repainted, and my deep freeze now has permanent dark brown swirls all over it (I mixed the stuff up in the kitchen and lost control). It looks so easy when the guy who does my hair mixes it up and he never slings it all over the place. This was a valuble life lesson.

pray for me

Please pray for a miracle or blindness. I have to find a swimsuit today. We leave in about a week and a half on vacation, and I promised my nieces I would take them to the waterpark. I tried on the swimsuit I bought a couple of years ago, and my gut and butt was hanging out everywhere, so I don't think so. It was the ugliest, grossest thing I've ever seen. Please, please, please let this not be as horrible as I think it's going to be. I've arranged friendly mirrors in my home. The mirrors in the department stores are NOT friendly, but there is no way I'll order from the 'net. This is one thing that has to be tried on and nothing can be left to chance. This is going to be the worst trauma ever. I'd rather take all my finals again than do this.

I'm a sloth

When I read the posts from Student Nurse Jack, or Betty, or Student Nurse Hell, or any of the thousands of others, I want to crawl in a hole and cover my head in shame, except I'm too lazy to do it. Everyone is taking summer classes, and reading, and studying, have spouses and children to deal with, and some are working a full time job to boot. I get up when one of the cats finally has had enough, jumps on the bed, and bites me. I put on the dirty shorts that are lying on the floor where I dumped them on my way to bed the night before. I come downstairs and feed the biting little ingrates, make coffee, pee, and let the dogs out in the back yard. Then it's a thrill filled morning of two newpapers, The Today Show, ER reruns, and let the dogs back in. I then take a bath. Showers are for people with something productive to do. I live in an old house with a big old cast iron bath, and I soak in it for about 30-45 minutes. Now it's noon, and I put on clean shorts and Tshirt (I'm pretty much done with bras for the summer). I'll then go outside with a book. I do weed and deadhead the flower garden and turn the soaker hoses on, and then I lay out for the next couple of hours and read. If the weather is bad (50/50 chance), I'll lay on the couch and read. This is popular fiction, not anything I might actually learn something. On Friday, my People magazine will be in the mailbox, so I do deviate on Friday. Through the day, I might vacuum, and I'll always clean the kitchen up (my pet peeve...dirty kitchens and dirty dishes). Then at 4:00, it's Oprah followed by Dr. Phil. Then it's HGTV for all of the home shows. I'll make dinner about 7:00 and I do usually cook. After the kitchen is clean, then I lay like a big slug on the couch or on the computer until bedtime. Those are my days. In the past week, I've had to do laundry since my husband can't, but he's better now, and that's his job. I hate doing laundry. The only thing I've had to do this week is to go to court for a child advocate case. I am the special advocate for kids who've been removed from their homes due to abuse or neglect, and are placed in foster care. I do spend a few hours a week at visitations for this, but it's just a few hours. So was I ready in court with my report for the judge even though I've had nothing else to do? No, luckily my supv called and mentioned it, and I threw on a skirt an sandels and put on some mascara and brushed my hair and flew out the door. I acted shocked that I didn't have my report with me SINCE I DIDN'T DO IT!!! It didn't matter since this was a routine hearing, but I'm starting a new leaf. No more of this. Ok, maybe not today. It's the weekend, but Monday for sure.